Deep like an ocean
by Himizu and Kurotamashii
Summary: Just because I’m a vampire doesn’t mean I’m a monster. I don’t WANT to be a monster. I CAN’T be a monster! I know. I sure did a shitty job of SHOWING that I didn’t want to be one. This is Jasper's story. His love for Alice. His hate for Jake. Tis all here
1. First Meeting

Just because I'm a vampire doesn't mean I'm a monster. I don't WANT to be a monster. I CAN'T be a monster! I know. I sure did a shitty job of SHOWING that I didn't want to be one, but hey- the Confederacy really appreciated me happening to be so inexplicably trusted by the Union soldiers. It helped that every night, another dozen opponents would drop dead, mysteriously drained of all blood.

I'll admit, for a while, that lifestyle worked out pretty great. I got fed, and the Confederacy got a lead. **(A/N. Sorry if any of these war facts aren't true. I never listen in Social Studies, and, since I'm a pacifist, I DESPISE writing about war, battle, arguments, and a lot of other violence. If you don't like fluffiness, then I suggest you go find another story.)** But one day, I made a big mistake. I was hunting, and my captain walked out onto the battlefield for a surprise night raid on the Union. I had no control over myself, and all I saw was a tall human coming towards me, full of blood, and stage- whispering "Hale? Hale, what are you doing?" I dropped the body that I was holding, and pounced on him.

When I realized what I had done, what I had just cost the whole army, I ran. I ran as fast as I could, to find something else. There had to be another life for me. The more I thought about my past, the more I knew that I needed a new... alternative. I needed food, yes, but did it have to be HUMANS? After all, I used to be human, so the more I thought about it, the more it seemed like the cannibalism I had read about so many times. Besides, all the pain and suffering of the Civil War battlefields were killing me, if you know what I mean.

I thought to myself, _Well, if I'm going to better myself, I should start now._ I ran into the forest in a small, rainy town and caught a few stray deer. While I was drinking, I heard someone come up behind me. But I smelled no blood. What was up with that? Slowly, I turned, only to face the most beautiful being I had ever seen.

She was a vampire, that much was clear. Her eyes were big and black, just like mine get, when I'm hungry, but instead of having red eyes, I could tell that her's were a different color. It was the color of a gemstone... which one was it? Oh, yeah! Topaz! She was extremely short, not even five feet. She had short, spiky black hair, and was staring at me intently, like she was trying to make a decision.

I sensed that she was only curious as to who I was. She wouldn't hurt me. I stood up, wiped my hands, and held one out to her. "I'm Jasper Whitlock."

The vampire girl smiled, took my hand, and shook it. "Alice," she said in a voice like bells tinkling. "Alice Cullen." I immediately felt myself being attracted to her, and I tried to feel her senses, but they were all jumbled up. I couldn't pick one out from the other. Something was so warm (Well, technically, she was cold. But you know what I mean!) and inviting about her, that I found myself spilling my life story to her, including the part where I was searching for self- betterment.

Alice got a blank look on her face for a moment, smiled to herself, and grabbed my hand. "Come on, Jasper! Come home with me! You should meet Carlisle. He can help you in your MARVELOUS quest!" For a moment, I thought she was teasing me, but I could tell after a moment that she was sincere, and she was always this excited.

**(A/N. I'm Jules. I love Twilight, and the Jasper/Alice ship has always been my favorite. I feel like they have something deep, if not immediately obvious, between them. I'm 13 years old and I'm about to start eighth grade. I'm very sorry to say that I am notorious for not finishing stories. But that's just because I haven't really gotten into many stories before. Now, though, I've already gotten 5 chapters into this one. I'm pretty sure that this story will be finished. But, if I don't update for awhile, don't be afraid to give me obnoxious reviews. And any constructive criticism is greatly appreciated.)**


	2. Vile, loathsome, evil, snooping jerks

(A/N- Thanks to everyone who reviewed! Even though, as I write this, only one person has reviewed. DISCLAIMER- I'm not stupid. or at least, I HOPE I'm not. I do not own Twilight. I don't own Jasper. I don't own Alice. I don't own Bella, Edward, Esme, Carlisle, Rosalie, or Emmett. I own none of Stephenie Meyer's wonderful characters or plot lines. Got that? Good.) And by the way. I just read how Jasper and Alice found Carlisle. They met BEFORE they met him, but I like the way the story has progressed so far, so, proving once again that Twilight is not mine, I'm going to butcher their meeting and make this FanFic my own.

Carlisle Cullen's family was VERY different from the way I had been living for so long. Carlisle was a doctor, which amazed me how he could hold up against the scent and sight of blood. I don't think I'll EVER be that strong. He has a wife, Esme, also a vampire. He has changed a boy named Edward, who was seventeen at the time of his change. Alice is also in his coven.

They call themselves "vegetarians". They don't drink human blood, but animals, like I had done earlier that day. When Alice told them of my "marvelous quest", as she called it, the coven welcomed me with open arms into their family.

Being wanted was nice. I had never had a family before, and I must say, it was refreshing. As long as I can remember, I was just a useful soldier. Just one face in a sea of men. Now, it was like I was rediscovering myself. Dr. Cullen had an extensive library, and when I felt stressed, I found myself retreating there to read, like I did before I joined the army. I had missed books.

Sometimes, Alice joined me. She rarely read, but we worked on schoolwork together, and talked. I found out that she could predict the future. Psychic. She told me that on the day we met, she had a vision of me joining their coven. Their family. They didn't call themselves a coven.

The Cullens were becoming my friends, my family, and my life. Edward became my brother, as well as my best friend. And Carlisle and Esme were my parents in almost every sense of the word. But I didn't want to get too close to these people. Being a soldier, I learned not to get too close to anyone, because even though I'm immortal, most people aren't. There's every possibility that they could suddenly die, leaving me alone. But, even though I tried to distance myself from her, I found myself quickly falling in love with Alice Cullen. I always blocked out her feelings, though. _She deserves privacy_, I said to myself.

I found myself looking into Alice's eyes quite a bit when we talked. She was so beautiful. And her eyes were as deep as an ocean. The deepest part of the ocean that human scientists can't even fathom the depth of. _Jeez, Jazz. Get a grip! Argh. I can't feel this way about her. She doesn't love me. She never will... Right?_

"Hey," I heard Edward calling me as I walked to take a shower. "You wrong about Alice. She never stops thinking about you. She does love you. More than you know." And then he walked away.

"She... wait, Edward!" I called after him, but he had already run off into the forest or something like that. _Oh, crap. She... loves...me? But how would Edward know that?... Oh, yeah. Mind reader. Well, I can't avoid her anymore. I guess I'd better invade her privacy. Wow, I've wanted to do this for a long time._

I walked up to Alice's door, and knocked. "Come in," she sang. Alice was fixing her makeup, applying black eyeliner, which really made her eyes pop. "Oh, hi Jasper!" she said enthusiastically. I didn't say a word, but used my powers to reach out and feel her emotions. I gasped when I felt it, then smiled. Edward was right.

Next thing I knew, I was going against everything I knew and believed in, by sitting beside her on her sofa, pulling her eyeliner away, and kissing her. She pulled back surprised, and said, "What was that for?" Not in an angry way, though. No, definitely not angry.

"Alice," I said, nervous, "I love you. I have... for a while. But I didn't think you felt the same."

"But... didn't you feel-" I stopped her mid-sentence.

"I wanted to respect your privacy, but Edward told me today that he read your mind."

Alice glared in the direction of Edward's bedroom, where he had classical music blaring. "Remind me to kill him later. But, still. I guess I have to thank him, a little bit. He brought us together in his devious, snooping way. I love you too." With that, I pulled her into my lap and was kissing her again.

The next morning, I walked downstairs with my hand intertwined with Alice's smaller one. Edward was at the foot of the stairs, reading a sheet of music like a regular person would read a newspaper. Slowly, I took the music out of his hands, and Alice slapped him, hard. "WHAT?? Alice! What was that for?!"

Alice screamed happily, "You vile, loathsome, evil, devious, snooping, sly, cunning, ride, jerk!!! That's what you get for going through our PERSONAL THOUGHTS!"

We ran off hand in hand, roaring with laughter, while Edward stood there with him music, clearly puzzled about what had just happened.


	3. Rosalie

"Hey, Alice," I ventured after my first year with the Cullens. "Could you come here for a minute?" I beckoned her to the dining room, where, strangely, the whole family was sitting. She followed me, but I remained standing, so she did the same.

"Alice, I love you more than anything. More than blood," I joked, "and I thought that I couldn't love ANYTHING more than blood. But I do. I love you so, so much."

"Oh, Jasper. I love you, too," said Alice, smiling. I held up a finger to her lips.

"No. Let me have my time, please. I love you, and we're going to be stuck together for quite a while. If you haven't noticed, we're both immortal, and we're in the same coven—I mean, family. So we might as well, uh, um, er..." I remembered what to do, and jumped down on one knee, and pulled a black velvet box out of my pocket. "Alice Cullen? Will you marry me?"

Alice got a huge smile on her face, then the same beautiful face went blank. After a minute, Alice said, "YES, JASPER!!" and threw herself at him, kissing him passionately.

"Alice," Edward prodded, "Did you just have a vision?"

"Possibly!" sang Alice, and grabbed my hand in her's, then dragged me up to the room that we were now sharing. And then we shut the door. **(A/N. This story is rated T. For teen. You do not show sex in a teen story, and that's what they did in there. Alice and Jasper DID have sex, but I'm not the sick minded little kid I used to be. I don't want to changed the rating, or go against what I want.)**

Alice and I were married. I love her so much, and that'll never change. I lived together very happily for many years. Then our world had a bit of an earthquake when Carlisle carried in a screaming girl.

"Esme!!!' screamed Carlisle, "Clear off the table!" He laid the girl on the table, while she screamed in pain. Alice had to drag me far away from the commotion. The girl had blood gushing out of many wounds. Also, her pain was just too much for me to bear. I could still hear what was going on.

"She was attacked by werewolves. I can smell it," Carlisle said. I could practically see the look of disgust on his face.

"Are you going to... change her, Carlisle, dear?" Asked Esme anxiously.

"Yes. Edward, come here," he called.

"Yes, Carlisle, what is it?" asked Edward, at his side.

"I was actually... hoping that you too could be... well, like Esme and me. Or Alice and Jasper..."

"Ohhh. I see what you're getting at! But, until I can give you an answer, I have to actully MEET the girl."

"Well, until then, go to your room. You do NOT want to see the change. Trust me," warned Carlisle. Edward, being the good little boy he was, toddled off to his room. There was a moment's silence, and then ear piercing screams. There was so much pain swirling around the house, that I round myself on the floor in agony.

"Jasper? Jasper!" Alice called, making me snap out of it. "We need to get out of here!" With that, she grabbed my hand and dragged me out of the house, running at top speed. We didn't stop until we got to a hotel.

After three days, we got a call from Carlisle, saying that was ok to come back. She would wake up in about ten minutes.

The girl was beautiful. She looked like a swimsuit model. Edward slapped me. That boy NEEDS to stay out of people's minds! She told us that her name was Rosalie. Rosalie Hale. She WAS beautiful, but in my eyes, had nothing on Alice. "How are you feeling?" Carlisle asked Rosalie.

She was quiet for a moment, and then said slowly, "I'm... fine. But I feel really weird."

Carlisle motioned for me to go upstairs, and when I was in my room, heard him say to her that she's a vampire, and then heard Rosalie burst into dry tears.

Rosalie didn't adjust very well to being a vampire. She went to high school with the rest of us, but didn't really talk much to any of us. Edward TRIED to get close to her, but she just pushed him away. Neither of them ever became anything more than friends. It was decided that, since Rosalie and I, apparently, looked a lot a like, we would be called twins. The Hale twins. But it was just life as usual, only with a stubborn, beautiful girl added in.


	4. I'm so STUPID!

A/N- By the time I post this, I've probably changed my penname. But I'm still the same old Mylander. Anyway, I'm sorry I haven't updated in so long. I've been away from home for 2 weeks, but I'm back now, so it's all good. I'll be updating again.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Twilight. Wish I did. Don't.

Life with Rosalie was... interesting. She was always pretty standoffish to most of us, except for Alice, and especially Edward. They never did really hit it off. But now, at least, I wouldn't feel stupid when I had the urge for blood. She had it too. So I didn't feel quite as alone. But, I mean, how could I feel alone married to Alice? Sweet, perfect, beautiful Alice.

Two years went by. Rosalie was settling in, though she still hated what she had become. But all in all, everything was normal. No unexplained killings, no one running away, (That is, after Edward got back from his short little... straying from the path.), completely fine.

Until one day in April of 1935. Rosalie came running in with a bleeding boy in her arms one day after hunting, screaming for Carlisle, Esme, Edward, ANYONE at the top of her lungs. I jumped up with the collar of my shirt pulled up over my nose and cleared off the dining room table for her to lay the boy on, but then had to leave. The pain and agony swirling around mixed with all that blood was just too much for me.

I could hear screams from Rosalie mixing with the man's, until Carlisle got into the room just downstairs from my own. "What happened?" He asked, anxiously.

"I was hunting, and saw a bear attack him. I... got the bear, but I'm afraid it's too late for the man." I could hear the agony in Rosalie's voice and could tell that, if she could, she would be sobbing beautiful tears right about now.

There was a short pause, but then Carlisle said quickly, "Esme, get my bag. Rosalie, cover your nose. You too, Edward. And hold your breath. It helps. Alice, go see to Jasper." I heard Alice running up the stairs right before she came into our room and sat down beside me on our oversized couch.

Alice leaned against my chest while I held her and stroked her short hair. "Are you all right, Jasper?" she whispered into my shirt.

"Much better, now that you're here," I whispered back, then put her down, got up, and threw a stuffed animal at the wall, yelling.

"Jasper?" Alice said in alarm. "What's wrong?"

"I'm so stupid," I yelled. "Why can't I stand it? Why couldn't I stay. I suck. I'm WORTHLESS as a vampire. You deserve someone better, like Edward." I sank to the floor with my head in my hands. Alice sank down beside me and wrapped her arms around me.

"Jasper Whitlock Hale. NEVER let me hear you saying that EVER again. I love you. Not Edward. Not anyone else. YOU. I love you for who you are and I wouldn't want you any other way... Wait... no... I will ALWAYS want you. Just like you will always want me. And the scent? I had that problem too. You just have to practice at it. Why, even CARLISLE had trouble controlling the thirst. Give it time, and you will be fine. And I know how you feel about the pain. How do you think I feel whenever my birthday party is coming up, and I have a vision about the whole thing. It ruins the whole party. You don't completely know how to control you powers, and your's is a very strong one. Hell, I can't even completely control my visions yet. Remember that. ALWAYS remember that. You are not worthless. If you were to die tomorrow, so would I."

I kissed Alice full on the lips, only to be interrupted by a sharp rap on the door. Edward opened it. H looked even paler than usual. I only supposed that that was because of him exercising so much self control. "Carlisle is going to change him. Give it about twenty minutes, and you can come down, Jasper. But... if you can, try to keep a lid on your powers. He's going to be hurting.


End file.
